


yours if you want it

by michaelsgang



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff and a touch of angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-01-07 05:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18403973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelsgang/pseuds/michaelsgang
Summary: the california sun is nearly set behind the water, casting its last orange glow over travis’ skin. orange and black hockey stretch over his chest, the dark material clinging to his shoulders and wrapping around his biceps and –nolan wants to touch him until his palms burn from the friction.





	1. baby it’s yours if you want it

**Author's Note:**

> better known as “local married couple can’t keep their hands off each other.”
> 
> title is from “yours if you want it”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this legit kept me up all night because i could not stop writing it!
> 
> nolan hates country music but has a soft spot for romantic country songs that travis has in playlist

travis forced his way into his life against his will. his terrible gaming skills, his nonstop chatter, and his horrible chirping, had all infiltrated nolan’s barriers like he had the fucking pass to get by security.

nolan’s left bewildered and lost. there’s no handbook, no guidelines, _nothing_ , to show him how to proceed in this situation. he’s never fallen for a teammate. he’s still figuring out the whole dating guys thing, but like many things in his life, travis has forced him to improvise.

it’s mostly manageable at first. travis is affectionate as anyone could guess, and he still tries too hard to make him laugh. nothing changes except for the fact that everything’s kind of heightened. every touch leaves him all tingly, and he suddenly can’t stop laughing at everything he’s saying. nolan finds himself watching him more often, more than it should be considered healthy.

and it’s not like he can _stop_. travis has been gifted with the ability to make everyone bend backwards to his will and nolan is just another hopeless victim. so he’s left watching after his retreating figure, left like a useless idiot staring as travis walks toward the kitchen for another beer. everyone can tell, he knows by their raised eyebrows and knowing looks.

“how, dude?” shayne chuckles, disbelief written on his face as he just caught nolan very shamelessly checking travis out in his suit. he shrugs, and very much doesn’t acknowledge the fact that he knows where travis is without even looking.

“silent acceptance, bro.” he’s accepted his dumb crush, travis’ obliviousness. ignorance is bliss, he thinks numbly.

things turn for the worst as the games start to blur together and nolan can’t remember what day it is or what city they’re in. he was never good at american geography. at the end of the day, they’re always playing a game and win or lose, nolan goes back home or to the hotel and catches travis’ eyes. his breath always hitches, his heart always skips. he never expects it, like he thinks he’ll just randomly woke up with his crush gone.

there’s more late nights crashing at each other’s apartments. every drive home, nolan thinks he’ll gather the courage to convince travis to sleep with him. sometimes he’s so fucked up over a loss, he can’t sleep, and he wants to hear travis’ every thought. he might make a seem like he hates him, but this crush of his has his whole life spinning and tangling together.

he never does though. nolan’s always left dragging his feet past the guest room, hoping that travis will be the one to stop him, to ask. he can’t be the one to make that step, that leap of faith. for all his talk, it’s travis who faces every situation head on, with remarkable bravery. he’s never envious, not when he’s so in awe of him.

instead, nolan goes to bed, alone. he wonders what it would be like: to put his arms around travis like he does on the ice. or maybe travis would hold him, nolan doesn’t care. most nights, he falls asleep, dreaming of the way he tugs travis tight against his chest, the two of them clinging tight enough to hurt.

it starts to hurt when reality sinks in. travis has never expressed any real interest in men, so nolan can’t just assume that travis doesn’t like _him_. he can’t decide if that’s better or worse than the fact that travis doesn’t like guys at all.

it sucks even more when he watches travis pick up long legged blondes with shiny smiles and nice laughs. nolan almost misses the days when those girls satisfied him, when he didn’t have hopeless crushes on his teammates.

there’s nothing worse than having travis close and all up in his space. travis takes up more room than he should, waving his hands, laughing loud, or pressing close. there was that one night at the bar, after they won their third game in a row, and travis was bouncing with energy. nolan felt his heart pound so strongly in his chest and travis kept pressing closer to him, hanging off of him that they were some- like a _couple_. it made his throat close up when travis was more than pleasantly buzzed, sloppily singing along to the cheesy country songs. the way that he had looked at him, like he was singing just for nolan, with his sea green eyes boring right into his.

 _this is it_ , he thought distantly, downing the rest of his beer. travis has escaped to the bar to get another beer, but he kept throwing glances back at nolan over his shoulder. the dark look, the look that nolan has seen so many times from random girls at the bar, is right there on travis’ face.

but as he stands, his heart racing in nerves and his palms collecting sweat, someone slides right next to travis at the bar. she’s gorgeous, no doubt. she pretends to have tripped, laughing with red lipstick lining her plush lips. any trace of a connection fizzles up and smothers out as travis’ attention falls on her. the plummet in his stomach is farther than those sky high rides. embarrassment floods his system like water breaking past a broken damn.

nolan wants to vomit, get rid of the sickeningly sweet love sitting at the pit of his stomach. nothing comes out and he’s stuck with this curse. none of the guys say anything, but oskar’s awkward little thumbs up makes him feel a tiny bit better. this is by far the worst night of his life. travis goes home with her, and nolan’s kicked out to sleep on someone’s tug out couch.

but sometimes, nolan thinks travis might feel _something_. like the time when there’s literally three seconds left in the third period and carter’s sitting on the bench and all too suddenly the puck is sliding and meeting his blade and there’s a clear lane.

nolan hits the back of the net in the next second. the arena explodes and his heart nearly gives out. the boom of the horn and thousands of fans screaming, and fuck, he finds travis’ eyes immediately. there’s real and genuine happiness there written on his face, and all nolan can think about is hugging him and never letting go. and he fucking does.

their bodies are falling onto the ice from the sheer force of their impact, but nolan doesn’t _care_. they’re going to the playoffs and nolan scored the game winner and travis is right there wrapped tight in his arms.

travis is screaming into his face, their limbs tangled together as a sea of orange and black fill his vision. everyone’s cheering and yelling that he can’t even think about trying to understand. they’re going to the _playoffs_ . because of _him_.

“you’re fucking amazing patty!” someone’s pulling them up, but by a miracle of god, they’re still holding onto each other. nolan can’t stop smiling down at him, hanging onto his every word. travis is spewing every compliment that can filter past his screaming. _playoffs_. his skates guide him until he’s bumping back against the boards, every teammate imaginable trying to pat his helmet or reach him, but travis makes his hard. they’re grinning with crinkled eyes, and god, nolan can feel his breath fanning across his face.

then travis is pressing him against the boards, hanging onto him like they’re just starting their celly. his sweaty face jams itself into nolan’s neck, and-

his brain short circuits when he feels a pair of soft lips pressing against his neck. his heart stutters and if travis wasn’t holding him up now, nolan surely would've fallen to his knees. when travis pulls away, he’s still smiling so wide, his arm still wrapping around his shoulder so that their faces are inches apart. nolan can’t stop staring at his lips.

“you blow my mind, pat. let’s go home.” and he’s left nodding, completely and utterly speechless. whenever travis goes, nolan will always follow.

they don’t face the pens this time around, but he wonders if it would taste better if they knocked pens out of the playoffs instead of the islanders. if nolan closes his eyes and breathes, he can feel it again. feel the whole fucking memory again, down to the cool wetness from travis’ sweat and spit. it’s almost disgusting, but he’s so fucked up over him, nolan can’t find it in himself.

“you, me, _rascal_ _flatts_ , and the shore this weekend.” travis throws something at him, but nolan quickly catches it before it smacks him right in the face.

“dick,” he mutters, frowning at the ugliest pair of swim trunks he’s ever seen. it’s a black pair with the flyers logo mixed with bright orange flowers all over it. still, nolan follows travis’ figure as he walks into the hotel bathroom. facing the canes in the second round isn’t exactly what he envisioned, but here the fuck he is. they’re matched up with games right now, but they thrive on the road.

“wanna explain some more bud?” nolan isn’t a fucking dumbass though. the outer banks is a three hour drive from raleigh, and they’re stuck here for the next three days. there’s a game tonight but they’re not leaving until friday morning. playoffs suck, kind of.

travis doesn’t explain, not when nolan’s setting an alarm for five am in the next minute. they don’t talk about it, not when they agree to keep this between themselves. nolan’s fine with the guys tagging along because it’ll reduce the chances of him doing something embarrassing. but it’s travis who stops him on their way out for the game.

“i think it should just be us. y’know some best friend playoff bonding.” nolan nods and doesn’t say that he’s literally down to bond _whenever_. that would be embarrassing.

they win the game, five to three. nolan wonders if he could get travis to kiss his neck again, if he scored another big goal. then he pushes that away, and gets a grip. because it was such a long game, nolan heads straight for the hotel, not exactly in the mood to deal with travis picking up.

so he’s not exactly expecting to hear travis stumble in, clearly buzzed and struggling. nolan might not be asleep, but he’s lying with his eyes closed; he wants nothing more than to look over his shoulder.

nolan doesn’t startle when he feels his bed dip, travis breathing a little heavily. he almost does when he feels fingers card through his hair. a bomb goes off in his gut, almost knocking the breath out of him. it’s like someone flipped a switch and everything he’s ever known has been changed. nolan can’t even think. why is travis drunkenly stroking his hair? what the hell –

“pat, patty.” he gets shoved twice, and nolan can barely hide the way his eyes snap open. still gathering his shit from the fact that travis tucked his hair behind his ear like- like this was a movie, nolan looks up at him in surprise. a blinding grin takes travis’ features.

“tk?”

“you’re the best friend i could have asked for.” he says and nolan can’t even protest as he starts to stand, kicking his shoes on and face planting onto the empty spot behind him.

nolan holds his breath. what the hell.

carefully, nolan shifts around to stare down at travis’ now unconscious body. sighing and accepting it, nolan tosses the sweaty snapback off his head, and pulls him under the blanket. at least he’s wearing shorts because nolan was definitely not taking care of any of that.

he falls asleep on the opposite end of the bed, praying to god that travis didn’t kick.

the post season was so fucking long, nolan keeps forgetting to wear his lighter suits to the rink. the days keep getting warmer, and they keep playing. some games they barely win, but fuck it, it still _counts_.

nolan’s never fucking felt better in his whole life. his game is absolutely killer and his whole thing with travis is mostly under control. sure, he forgets himself sometimes and almost does something stupid like lean too close, or reach for his hand. but other than that, it’s going well. he hasn’t had to see travis pick up since that one night during the season.

it’s selfish, but no one needs to know. so what if he does a little happy dance whenever travis returns with just their drinks and never an excuse to leave early. every night at the bar, travis always ends up practically in his lap, and _god_ , nolan swears he’s reading this whole situation the right way. and he’s not missing the way travis’ eyes linger over his chest or his mouth.

he reaches his breaking point two nights before the final. someone, maybe jakey because he’s crazy enough, rents a giant beach house, overlooking the pacific ocean for miles. win or lose, they’re going to stick it out like a team. nolan would cry if he had to spend a night here, mourning the loss of the cup. it’s the closest he’s ever been to actually winning it, and he’s still a kid. he can’t imagine the stress claude’s feeling.

“hey man, come here.” him and travis are sharing, not to anyone’s surprise. there’s a king in there, but nolan is still extremely stressed about it. he really doesn’t think he could handle the next three nights.

he looks up from the tv, and as does half the other guys currently watching the shit out of the sharks’ previous games. optional tape viewing, but he’s here mostly because he can’t handle chilling with travis, alone in their room.

nolan’s brain shuts off again just at the sight of him. travis looks like he’s glowing in the dim lighting of the vast living room. there’s a soft chatter around them as the guys turn back to themselves. nolan couldn’t look away if he wanted.

the california sun is nearly set behind the water, casting its last orange glow over travis’ skin. _orange_ _and_ _black_ _hockey_ stretch over his chest, the dark material clinging to his shoulders and wrapping around his biceps and –

nolan wants to touch him until his palms burn from the friction.

without his permission, nolan traces the shirt shaping travis’ slim waist, tucking into his black shorts. when their eyes meet again, nolan can see the electricity zapping his skin, forcing his hair to stand up.

“joined at the hip much?” laughts says, his voice with amusement. he could only send a middle finger in retaliation. they’re all assholes. 

they’re both silent as he follows travis back upstairs, his heart marching in beat with his steps. it’s the most intense moment he’s ever had to go through. still, his legs follow travis’ wish and he doesn’t comment until they’re standing in their shared room.

“what’s so important that you’ve gotta show me up here?” his voice sounds a little strangled, even when he tries to aim for casual. it misses the mark by a mile. 

nolan shuts the door behind them with a click, letting the darkness to fall over them like a blanket. only the light from a orange lamp in the corner illuminates the air around them. in order to breathe, he has to look away from travis’ dark eyes; he notices the balcony windows open, sheer curtains blowing gently in the window. nolan shivers, and looks away from the twinkling dots lining the navy blue sky as the sun completely sets.

in the darkness, nolan stands tense. it’s too still between them.

“i need you to tell me no.” travis speaks softly, his voice steady as he keeps the foot of space between them. nolan’s never wanted to reach out and touch him more than in that moment. he clenches his fists tightly by his sides.

he blinks. “what’re you talking about?” but travis doesn’t give him much time to ponder before he’s stepping closer, a warm hand reaching to hold his in the darkness. if nolan’s heart was racing before, it’s going to work itself into a heart attack now.

nolan needs room, some _space_ between them. he’s mixing this up, getting himself excited over nothing. travis is just messing around. no way that he’s holding his hand in like a romantic way.

“what’re you doing?” he whispers, but his voice shakes. travis’ hands squeezes his firmly, before he tangles their finger together. it’s so gentle that nolan might break into tears. the air between this is fragile like one wrong move and it’s falling and shattering on the floor. there’s no way that this is real. travis is his best friend. he’s not into guys. he’s not into _nolan_.

“can i,” in the orange glow, travis’ eyes are hazel and he licks his lips. “can i kiss you pat?”

dream or not, nolan nods frantically. in an instance, faster the speed of light or sound, the air is changing. nolan is finally _finally_ touching travis like he’s always wanted to. the clash of their mouths ignites a fire in him, a deep and hidden fire. it cracks and hisses until nolan can feel the heat filling his entire body.

travis doesn’t stop, keeps trying to tug nolan closer to him until there’s no room left between them. nolan’s hands find themselves cradling his face, holding him like the finest piece of china in all of the earth. 

but suddenly he’s unsatisfied with just holding him. he’s dreamt about this moment so many times before, pictured how he wants to kiss and touch and hold. his fingers knock the stupid snapback off his head, threading and carding through his brown hair likes he’s always wanted to. travis lets out a sound and the vibrations makes his heart jump.

nolan keeps feeling, his hands passing down the curve of his neck, forcing travis to tilt his head more. wordlessly, their mouths fall open, and nolan is so addicted to the taste.  

nolan could kiss him forever. could hold onto his shoulders, or his face, for the rest of his life if he could. there’s something intoxicating from chasing the sour lemonade from travis’ lips. the fireworks going off rumble around in his head, but nothing compares to the explosions following the crashing of their lips.

his hands rough up travis’ tight shirt, feeling the hard muscle underneath. nolan can barely think past kissing him and touching, and barely registers how they’re walking toward the bed. he would rather die than let go of travis now.

the feeling of travis’ heart racing underneath his palm strikes a deep desire in his gut. there’s nothing he can think of that would be better than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave any requests or ideas in the comments!! thanks for reading
> 
> tumblr: twopointroux


	2. comes alive with every touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “i think i’m dreaming, kiss me.” patty’s smile is a triple watt light bulb and he’s left completely blindsided. the tingling ball of emotions explodes from the center of his ribcage and every single one of his nerves vibrates.
> 
> travis doesn’t need to be told twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m kinda superstitious but if i’m sad because of our season, i’m going to write the flyers winning the cup. in case you couldn’t tell by the last fic, i changed the pens’ spot so that the flyers play the islanders. this follows this year’s playoffs matchups, but it’s like next year’s season.
> 
> title comes from “yours if you want it.” bc rascal flatts has my heart.

there’s something therapeutic about hearing the ocean’s waves crashing mixing with patty’s snoring. the breeze blowing over his bare chest does nothing to ease his stuttering heart race. travis can barely control himself as he looks toward his right, soaking in the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

love has made him soft.

watching patty’s smooth chest rise and fall is kind of weird, he’ll admit that much. but travis doesn’t think he could ever look away. his eyes trace the rosy cheeks pressed against cotton pillows, with eyelashes resting gently across them. his hair is beyond a mess and travis is already coming up with a hundred different chirps, but in the safety of dawn, he can admire. his hand goes on its own adventure to brush his hair from his face. it’s downright rude how hot nolan is.

like travis dorders not deserve this. ever since their first meeting, since that first day on the ice with this bright eyed rookie, travis has been struggling to keep up. he hasn’t like a guy in so long- not since _juniors_. girls were easier, safer. but there was always something special about nolan patrick, the boy who earned his spot on the roster, who showed jersey what they missed,

who stole travis’ heart. it was a gradual thing, like charles fucking darwin says about evolution. slow, steady, and continuous. travis was kind of helpless to the force that is nolan. he was charmed by his mumbling, by his attitude, christ even his hockey.

travis has always liked tall canadian boys. so it wasn’t surprising for it to hit him like a blind check from behind.

 

that shitty ten game lose streak had left him open and raw, vulnerable. he had no control over his hockey anymore. travis couldn’t even reach the back of the net if someone held him at gunpoint. the team was falling apart with trades and new guys and management issues. the list went on and on about how terrible the season was going. there were whispers from the front office, _tank the season, get a good top five pick_.

travis would’ve easily fought every person in the organization, _single handedly_ , that thought patty was a bust. even hearing their own fans pick on their rookie was enough to push travis to the edge.

“i need to punch something.” patty never locks his door on off days. they’re less than five floors apart, so it just makes basic sense for the two of them to be in and out throughout the day. travis drops onto the couch and doesn’t give two shits if he’s sitting too close to patty. it’s been a long morning because he’s read so many articles that shit-talked his best friend _and_ he ran out of bagels.

there’s a grin on patty’s face that makes everything slow down for a second. something sickeningly sweet replaces his annoyance and travis is left marinating in fondness as he watches patty. he gets up to grab the controllers, like he could read travis’ mind. it would be scary how well patty knows him if travis didn’t have a giant crush on him and grew an equally giant boner at the thought. no matter what they’re best friends. travis can certainly survive on that.

“i don’t get how this is fun for you.” patty sits back down, impossibly closer than they were before. the warmth from his thighs makes his legs tingle pleasantly, leaving his body in a daze. where the hell did patty come from?

“don’t know what you’re talking about bud.” they load the game up, vaguely shoving each other with their elbows before the game even started. travis will never admit how much he craves every touch, how much he wants to shove patty until they’re both horizontal and pressed tightly together.

“the game dumbass. you’re so bad it’s just sad.” there were a trillion chirps patty could’ve used and he chose that one. travis doesn’t even think it’s worth to fight him on it. he’s a beast at CoD, fuck him. like that, his mood shifts entirely; just five minutes with him and travis feels like a new person, like he’s been rebirthed.

he brings it up later, because he couldn’t leave without doing so. “you’re the best guy on our team.” and he means it with every fiber of his being. patty’s going to be here for years, lighting it the fuck up because he’s got natural talent. there’s a cup waiting for him somewhere. maybe not now with how shitty they’re playing, but travis knows it. he feels it deep in his bones like his love for patty.

the look patty shoots him over his shoulder is surprisingly soft. surprise and embarrassment written on his face. he really shouldn’t be because travis is blatantly in love with him and it’s evident in the way he’s always trying to get him to laugh or smile, even look his way. travis wants patty’s attention on him at all times.

“thanks coach.” travis can’t believe he likes this asshole.

like probably isn’t a strong enough word. lying here with his hand cradling patty’s face, travis thinks what he feels is beyond a crush. he wants him happy and safe and _his_ for the rest of his life. he aches when he sees patty anything but happy. it’s unhealthy how much he worries for him, but it’s far too late to pump the brakes now. travis has been tied behind the steering wheel with his foot glued to the gas pedal. he’s en route to total destruction.

 

“that tickles.” the last thing anyone needs to know is that travis sometimes wonders if patty is a mumbler: he’s discovered that patty _is_ and it’s impossible to hear him in the bright early morning. still, travis laughs quietly and leaves his fingers tangled in his hair.

“morning,” but it’s lost in the way that patty obnoxiously stretches and yawns. if the walls weren’t thick as hell, he’s pretty sure patty would’ve woken the whole house. travis doesn’t want to get up from this bed.

blue eyes blink open only to narrow his eyes at him. travis opens his mouth to argue, but it’s fails when patty starts to sit up, still frowning. but the look is changing as he traces travis’ bare chest. a pool of warmth fills in his gut just at the sight of patty, blantanty checking him out. travis is kind of screwed if patty doesn’t want this to be a permanent thing. last night was pretty awesome.

“i think i’m dreaming, kiss me.” patty’s smile is a triple watt light bulb and he’s left completely blindsided. the tingling ball of emotions explodes from the center of his ribcage and every single one of his nerves vibrates.

travis doesn’t need to be told twice. it’s different from last night. it’s less rushed and frantic, but it’s still searing and leaving travis breathless. fuck morning breath. he’s spent the last year of his life uselessly pining after patty. he can deal with it.

unfortunately patty has some feelings against it, and pulls away. he doesn’t stray too far, and keeps his body hovering just above travis’. it’s tantalizing, so travis’ arm wraps around his waist and closes the space between them.

“you’re a pest.” he mumbles against his lips causing travis to grin widely. this is the _best_. a rough hand strokes his side while the other holds him up just a bit. he’s dizzy by the time patty actually starts to kiss his jaw. content fills his every bone and he relaxes into the bed as nolan keeps tilting his head back and pressing hot kisses underneath his jaw.

the bite to the junction between his neck and shoulder startles the shit out of him, spiking interest in his groin. patty’s laugh vibrates against his skin. when he lifts his head to grin down at travis, he just reaches to his his nipple a tug. patty’s outrage is the exact reaction he was looking for.

“you love me.” he sing songs, even as his little heart speeds up at the idea. having sex doesn’t mean that they’re in love, he knows that. he’s realistic about this whole thing.

travis is very much well aware that what he feels falls too far on the deep end of the spectrum for casual anything with patty. picking up gets boring quickly when he can’t get what he wants from a girl and can’t reach a decent guy at a bar.

 

sitting with patty and sneaking him drinks makes his night a little brighter and a little crazier. sitting with patty in this warm bar is his ideal night out. maybe he’s wrapping an arm around him, or maybe they’re dancing too close, or downing shot after shot until everything’s a little fuzzy.

they’ve just demolished the canes in the second round. it’s arguably better than winning six against the islanders in the first. but it’s still fucking _amazing_. they’re deeper in the playoffs than they have been in a while. g looks stressed the fuck out, but travis has so much faith in him, in _them_.

“dude, bro, _patty_.” travis has lost count of his drinks and his best friend. he’s finally found him, sitting at the bar with laughts. they’re laughing pretty hard. the heavy and bitter taste of jealousy rests at the back of his throat, threatening his stomach to pitch its contents out.

in his drunken haze, travis thinks it’s a perfect idea to squeeze up right next to patty, wrapping his arm around his waist. in turn, he tosses his arm over his shoulders, his fingers tracing a circle on the sleeve of his shirt. heat pools in his gut.

“yeah teeks?” and god, travis just wants to kiss his stupid face right in front of laughts. just to prove that he can, that he could have patty like that.

he doesn’t because he knows patty doesn’t pick up and hates dates. even if patty were to change his mind and decide to hookup, there are still a trillion pretty _girls_ at any bar they go to. last time he checked, travis lacks tits.

“nothing.” patty doesn’t let go, or makes him leave. they stay just like while laughts glances at the nonexistent line in between them, a smirk on his face. travis can feel nolan breathing from how close they are.

he never wants to leave his side.

 

the last thing that he expects is for patty to pause above him, their faces suddenly too far apart.

“i do.” it’s the most sincere that patty’s ever sounded. and they talk a lot together. if it were possible, travis’ heart speeds up even more. his hands collect sweat from where they hold his hips.

an alarm goes off, startling the two of them out of their skin. patty all but throws himself off of travis, like they were just caught from one of their moms. still, travis laughs and reaches to turn it off. it’s just his luck that his alarm goes off as they’re seconds away from having a heart to heart.

“after breakfast, we should talk.” they share a look. they’re adults, they can talk about their feelings. he’s got a long list of shitty relationships in the past, but he’s not making the same mistakes. patty’s his best friend, and he’s not letting his feelings ruin that for him.

“after breakfast.” like it’s a promise.

downstairs, there’s a buzz from the sounds of chatter and breakfast. guys are in varying stages of dressed completely, still in their sweats, or nearly naked.

it’s jakey. jakey is the one nearly naked: “i rented house, i get to dress how i want.” aside from that eye sore, the kitchen is filled to the brim with guys trying to grab from the large arrangement of food. travis has no idea if jakey managed to get catering, or if someone was responsible enough to start making breakfast. there’s even fruit, so he’s pretty sure someone went out and bought shit.

“grab a muffin for me.” patty whispers harshly into his ear as he exits the line with his plate of waffles and a banana. such a boring dude, how is travis literally in love with him.

he elbows him, gently because he _loves_ him. “get your own.” it’s fruitless because he just keeps walking away toward the living room. rolling his eyes, travis grabs a blueberry muffin and stacks it on his loaded plate. it’s like someone’s is giving him a free massage, that’s how relaxed he is. they play tomorrow night, game one of the stanley cup final, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel nervous. he’s confident in his team. _their_ team.

by the time he’s down picking, patty’s sitting on the love seat and watching more of sharks tape. he’s left kind of useless because he’s thrown back by the wave of affection. travis doesn’t waste any time standing and rushes over. patty makes room wordlessly, but sneaks a hand down to squeeze his knee.

when their eyes meet, travis swears it’s like the whole world vanished around them. in the vast emptiness, travis can only see the sparkling in patty’s blue eyes and the mirrored look of fondness on his face. he wants to leans forward and kiss him. travis has wanted him for so long he doesn’t know what to do now that he’s got him. if last night had been a dream come true, he doesn’t know how much better life can get if he’s got patty like this.

patty rolls his eyes with flushed cheeks. “you’re insufferable.” slowly, the world comes back. it’s almost like a miracle that no one’s watching them or making overused chirps about them. instead, they’re all trapped in their own minds, but sharing this quality time together. win or lose, travis has a team to fall back on. he has patty to rely on.

the morning goes on like that: eating breakfast and watching tape. tomorrow’s the big night, game one of the stanley cup final. they’ve beat good, quality teams to get here. teams that travis never expected beating in the fight for the cup.

hell, they faced the leafs in the third round. playoffs are weird and unpredictable. travis doesn’t question how the leafs managed to beat the lightning and the bruins, but then he remembers that _they’re_ in the playoffs too. so he shuts his mouth.

the group finally disperses and travis is dragging nolan back up to their room. they have real adult talking to do. if travis doesn’t say it now, then he’ll take the easy way out and never will. nolan is the best damn thing to have ever happened to him since entering the league, and travis can’t let him go. they have chemistry and they work. he can’t imagine throwing that all away because he got a little scared of _communication_.

“i’m just gonna say it straight up or else I might chicken out.” they’re sitting on the balcony of their bedroom. his ass is freezing from the cool cement, but he’s not going to more because he’ll never step back out. next to him, patty nods in agreement. the wind from the sea is tossing their hair around, but travis can’t take his eyes off of him.

it’s almost like a scene from a movie. the waves are crashing next to them, all crystal clear blue and seafoam green. god bless the sun for shining high behind them, so their skin is saved from its warm rays. when travis blinks up at him, patty has his longs legs crossed. but their knees still touch. travis stares at his knotted fingers.

“i’ve liked you for,” he stops abruptly, the reality of it hitting him. he loves nolan, like the whole die for you kind of thing. he hasn’t- travis isn’t going to think too hard on this. they’re solid.

“fuck i guess a while. i wanna date you and everything.” there aren’t enough words to express what he wants. maybe he’s selfish but he just wants nolan for himself. he wants to give nolan everything he’s got and _more_. he’s twenty three- christ almost twenty four years old and he’s in love.

travis looks away from his hands and finds patty already looking at him. his normal blank look is replaced with those rosy cheeks he absolutely _adores_ , and a growing smile.

“i want the same thing. all of it, man.” his heart soars. travis always kind of knew, just a little whisper at the back of his mind, and it only grew louder after last night. hearing patty say it is a whole other level. his body is practically vibrating with the joy he’s feeling. patty likes _him_. travis’ brain might need some more time to really process that, but that’s for later. right now he’s going to kiss the shit out of him.

“so are we taking this slow or-” patty gets cut off by his lips (yes _travis’_ ) but it doesn’t really matter to either of them. they have loads of time to talk. they have hours to sit and be adults again and talk. christ, travis wants to grow exhausted because they’re talking so much. that’s how much they’re going to communicate.

anyway.

just like this morning, like last night, patty’s mouth is just as warm and inviting. his hair is just as soft when his fingers run through it. it still feels like he’s flying and falling at the same time, and travis has decided breathing is not as important as wrapping his arms tighter around patty.

when his body goes against him and forces him to pull away, travis remembers the key points he needed to talk about. the important shit. he’s only distracted by nolan’s blown irises for a few short seconds before he’s shift to face him completely.

“we can definitely date, but i think we should wait until after playoffs.” it kind of hurts to say. travis knows he has to and has to wait. since he was a kid, he’s put hockey first. family and friends and everything had to take a back seat when hockey was around. (not that it ever left too long or too far in the first place.) his relationships have crashed and burned because of his obsession.

that’s not going to happen with patty. travis is going to make sure of it.

“i don’t want to have hockey get in the way.” but patty’s face is contorting into confusion. his heart skips nervously.

“so by stopping us from dating until _after_ the playoffs won’t be hockey getting in the way?” oh. travis’ mouth opens but nothing falls out. this is not going the way he wants it to go at all. hockey isn’t getting in the way. he just wants them in the right mindset as they’re starting their relationship.

“no that’s not what i mean. i just don’t wanna get pissed about the result and have you deal with that.” his chest feels like it’s cracking open slowly. patty might have lended an ear after every breakup, but he doesn’t know the root was always the same. the fear travis feels because he might ruin this relationship too is enough to keep him sit as he gathers the words to explain.

“the second this series ends and i get over it, we can go out. i promise.” travis feels the promise deep in his gut. he’s never wanted to keep a promise more than in that moment. patty deserved the absolute best. it may not be travis, but fuck if he’s not going to try.

before patty could say anything, travis reaches across their legs to grab hold of his hands. his grip remains loose, but patty tightens it without hesitation. if travis needed any affirmation that patty wants him, this was it. they’re going to do this, together.

“win or lose?” he nods and gives their hands a squeeze.

“win or lose.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> leave any requests or ideas in the comments!! thanks for reading
> 
> tumblr: twopointroux


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